"Bisexuals always end up picking a side"
Yaa all those fake bisexuals meeting the love of their life and staying together forever and getting married and being happy with only one person those assholes


you’re safe as long as you don’t imagine your otp slow dancing to ‘the way you look tonight’ in their pjs in the kitchen of their new house at 3am with their heads resting on each other’s shoulders if you do imagine that then you’re ruined im sorry

My daughter is waving around a crochet hook saying “Presto!”

"R.  Can you say, Aloha Mora?"

"Uhh… Presto!"

My husband suggests I try something easier.

"Ok baby.  Try, ‘Lumos’."

She looks at me, looks at the crochet hook, waves it in my face and laughs.  ”PRESTO!”